Community Chat: What messages are you hearing? [Episode 3]
Episode 3 of the Motherhood Grace Podcast
Welcome back! Thank you for tuning in and taking time for yourself.
Last episode, I spoke a bit about media messaging and the messages that I have heard in my life. This episode, I want to dive into the messages that you have shared with me and also pull up some images and media articles and chat through some of them.
So first I want you to think about your role as a woman or a mom. What are your responsibilities and expectations in this role?
Just pause and think about it. Now I want to ask you: how do you know? How do you know those are your responsibilities?
Were they modeled for you in your childhood home? Do you see them on TV or read about them in books? Do they stem from your religious beliefs? Have you had conversations with the people in your home?
Are they stories? Facts? Do they HAVE to be the way you imagine?
Most of what we belief to be gospel truth are really, well, opinions. Or the status quo, the norm... "what everyone does."
I just want to challenge these because I'm noticing moms and women in general running themselves ragged trying to live up to this false narratives.
Today's affirmation: I HAVE THE POWER TO REWRITE MY TRUTH.
On my holistickate instagram account, I did a fill in the blank statement. This is likely how I will pull some of these community chats together, in combo with your emails and outreach. Thank you for being part of this community.
I said "Women should..."
Let's dive in to these stories.
always be smiling
be good cooks
want to be a mother
be obedient and quiet
be accommodating and nurturing
wear feminine clothing... be sexy
find the bright side
be the glue for the family
be the home maker
have a clean home
ability to multi-task
take care of ALL the holidays and birthday of the family & making them special for the kids
"if you dont have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"
never complain or share bad feelings
Now that we heard those, i want to reminder you, say it to yourself:
I HAVE THE POWER TO REWRITE MY TRUTH.
I've been coming at this with a place of curiosity lately... what I'm noticing is that there is a real dichotomy that's happening...
home should be neat and tidy, but not so clean people don't feel welcome
work and go after their dreams, but not at the expense of their children
It's "here's the expectation, but oh wait, you can mess that up too!"
Hi overwhelm, confusion, suffocation, paralyzation. I know, I hear you.
And if you are a woman who can say "eff these expectations, I do what I want" you at like the rare 1% because majority of women I've spoken too feel at least SOME weight on their shoulders of this overload.
So I just googled "popular woman's magazine covers."
Up populated gorgeous women, with poreless glowing skin in powerful stances.
Nearly every cover has one of the following words: Sex, Sexy, Hot, Desire
I can physically feel my own body contracting while I'm looking through these covers.
Here are some article titles:
"Why losing your butt may mean losing your man"
"What men think is unfaithful"
"10 lbs gone"
"Sexy abs and butt"
"Get lean fast"
"7-Day Slim Down"
"Slim & Happy"
I'm actually a bit nauseous after reading through these and honestly had a tear fall out of my eye without me even realizing I was crying (I snapped a photo, I'm not exaggerating).
What do those messages signal?
You are your size and looks. You need a man and you need to keep him.
There were only two coverings I found to be empowering: one stated in bold "Embrace your power" and the other said "You can do this!"
Obviously these are just magazine covers, but what are we doing with our own lives on social media? It's been called the highlight reel, right? Which I understand, I mean I don't love blasting on there when I've had a bad day or struggle (though I try to be authentic in that)... the main point is it's not reality and its being painted as if it is.
We are making up stories in our head about what's happening... to the women on the magazine covers and our friends. We don't know what's being that camera or in the closet.
Let's remember: I HAVE THE POWER TO REWRITE MY TRUTH.
So how do you craft your own truth? How do you take charge of the stories you WANT to tell.
I think you have to first trying decide what it is you want. What IS valuable to you? What IS a life you want to life? How do you want to feel day to day?
Sometimes I think it's easier to think about it in this way: What do you want for your kid? What life do you want for them? What do you want your daughter to think? How do you want your son to this about his wife and mother of his child?
Rewrite your truths... and start removing other's people's narratives from your life.
It will not be easy. But It WILL be worth it.
And if you've enjoyed the affirmation, you can join my daily affirmation message by texting "PODCAST" to 412-775-3511. I'll send you a positive affirmation every day.