Updated: Feb 25, 2020
Nervous about birth? Wish you had someone to help you through? Look no further, I've found your girl + her amazing team!
HeHe is the Founder of Tranquility by HeHe and creator of The Birth Lounge online community for new and expecting moms. She is dedicated to helping women take control of their birth and avoid birth trauma.
As a Maternity Concierge service, she helps women navigate prenatal education, labor support, and preparing for postpartum to help their families balance all the puzzle pieces of having a baby. She’s a Family Life Educator, as well, and transitioning to becoming a larger family and navigating parenthood is her jam! Her services extend through potty training!
She knows that the more information a woman has, the more ideal her birth experience is, and it’s HeHe’s goal for every expecting mom to have their dream delivery. With a Master’s in Human Development and Family Studies, HeHe empowers her clients to set boundaries with your healthcare provider and family circles surrounding their birth and parenting choices.
She is also the host of the Tranquility Tribe Podcast which has 14,000+ listeners in over 26 countries. The show often features leading experts in the pregnancy, women's health, and child arena so you can stay up to date on what’s happening in the world you’re living in right now.
Links to connect with HeHe:
The Birth Lounge: website
Use code "GRACELOUNGE" (all caps!) to get $5 off a month (buy 5 months, get 1 month free!)
[4:00] HeHe's background in her own words
[8:30] What is a doula?
A person or professional who provides physical and emotional support during your birth experience. Some doulas provide postpartum services as well.
[11:00]: How do you find a good doula?
No government involvement, so you can find your perfect support with a doula.
How to search:
doulamatch.net (some older doulas may not be on the internet) - These are not paid ads, SEO, google filtering, etc.
by zip code
directly by name
Do your due diligence: educated & have more experience than just a weekend training that certifies them.
[14:30]: It's okay to demand better! You only get to do your birth one time... demand better. You are worth it!
[16:00]: You can have the birth you want, don't let the narrative that society has taught us about birth to infiltrate your experience! Let Kate be a champion for you!
[17:30]: Where maternity care actually comes from ... experimentation on women! Why are we still doing the same things in 2019!?
[18:30]: Offensive if you don't have someone there who thought they might be (big conversation:
1. You are only letting down their expectation, not their feelings. These feelings are temporary... you are giving them a baby!
2. It's not that you didn't want them there, it's that you didn't have room.
[20:10]: Challenge your expectations around birth.
[20:30]: Why would someone want to have a doula with them? (Disclaimer: HeHe can really only speak to her experience)
Should act as an entire resource for you the entire time. Contact for any question.
Great stats: shorten the length of labor, cheerleader, pose ideas for relief in birth, overall positive birth experiences and feeling of control, reduces pain relief or epidural, reduces risk of Caesarian
Be hesitant to base someone's ability to help you just based on number of births. Look at the bigger picture.
If you have a scheduled Caesarian, you may not need a full doula package, but an abbreviated package can still really help: what to expect, how can they prepare now, the emotional/mental piece that comes with a C-section
[26:45] Building a relationship with a doula & why it matters
TBH does not take on women who have 8 weeks or less in their pregnancy -- cannot impact birth to full potential without enough time
TBH wants to help 100% or 0%. Most clients are between 4 to 6 months pregnant to build an intimate relationship.
The whole birth community may not always accept doulas if they push the boundaries. There are so many layers.
Everyone brings their own baggage to a birth. Remember that doctors do work for the hospital: they are bound by insurance, the laws, hospital policies, etc. Doulas do not have to abide by those same restrictions.
If your doctor is not okay with someone else supporting you in birth, is that who you want to be delivering your baby? It's okay to have them remain your gynecologist, but you have someone else deliver your baby.
If you have ANY hesitations or negative feelings about your OB or hospital, look into your other options.
[31:00]: Always something you have to navigate. You can make a plan... but you always have CHOICES.
HeHe says you can control a lot about birth and gets flack for that... but here's an abbreviated list of what you can control:
who is the room
what you see
what you hear
what you smell
what you eat
who your nurse is
who your doctor is
when you go to the doctor
the pain relief you get
what your wearing
who cuts the cord
when do you cut the cord
.... you have so many choices! But of course, you can't control EVERYTHING because that's LIFE, being human! You don't get to blame that on birth.
[33:00]: Empowering way to think about birth. Give power back to the woman, the mom, the birth! Circumstances pop-up, but it doesn't have to go into something negative, just move on to the next choice.
[34:10]: What is HeHe's favorite part of the job?
Seeing parents click on their lightbulb of confidence:
1. Prenatal - when they feel excited about birth.
2. Postpartum - right after baby is born, just a few hours of support and feeling more confident within the first couple days
[36:00]: Also support postpartum when a parent goes back to work, how to navigate having toddlers around, the arguments that come up between partners because you are surviving on minimal sleep
[38:15]: What are 2-3 things that HeHe wants all moms to know?
1. You know your child better than anyone else. If something isn't aligned with you, then trust that. Take advice with a grain of salt... doctors included!
2. Just because someone else says you can't do it, doesn't mean you can't do it!!! VBACs especially. --- don't let that noise infiltrate! Connect with your inner goddess.
[41:00]: Meditation to connect to yourself and where you stand on a decision
How would I feel if X happened... go down the rabbithole!
If you feel sick and not okay with that outcome, then back up and go down the next rabbithole!
It may not always be ideal... but you are doing the best you can!
Who is this person? Do they get to make decisions for my life? You don't get to make decisions for me.
I don't get to control anyone else but me!
I don't get to control what other people think about me.
It's none of my business what other people think about me.
Nobody knows your entire world, or they would love you. If someone doesn't like you, they probably don't really know you.
[46:00]: Where to connect with HeHe
www.TheBirthLounge.com --- Online Group Membership. Most accessible & affordable. Pregnancy through 1st Year Postpartum. Serves you 100%! Use code "GRACELOUNGE" (all caps!) to get $5 off each month (buy 5 months, get 1 month free!)
1-1 In-person Support: TranquilitybyHeHe.com all packages are there!