[Motherhood Interview] Mama Story - Postpartum Anxiety with Taylor Ames
Updated: Feb 25, 2020
If you have been dealing with postpartum anxiety, know you are NOT alone. Today, Taylor Ames shares her journey with postpartum anxiety after having her daughter.
Connect with Taylor on Instagram.
[1:10]: Welcome Taylor! Thank you for sharing & being so vulnerable.
[2:20]: Culture of hiding our stories, which makes it feel shameful to feel anything negative around mental health, so sharing allows you and others to feel accepted.
[3:00]: Others come and share their stories with Taylor because they feel good to feel safe to share because of her opening-up
[3:55]: More willing to open up when you have a couple of degrees of separation
[4:22]: Taylor's Background
Mom to Stella (3 in September 2019). Stella is a spit-fire.
Tay has always been someone who has dealt with depression and anxiety. Anxiety really spiked during pregnancy, which stemmed from the struggle to conceive and continued even after birth.
Hormones were fine for a month or two, but then took a dip and then anxiety spiked. If her daughter wasn't eating or sleeping, she was crying. She would shake if someone else was holding her because she didn't want other people to have to deal with her.
After years of dealing with depression, she woke up and realized what was happening around 5 months.
When Taylor started to calm down, Stella started to calm down. It's okay if she cried.
[7:50]: Similarities to Kate's story is crazy!
[8:20]: Lessons learned or anything you would have changed?
As much as you want to say "I needed to relax," anxiety is all-consuming, it's not something you'll just get over.
[9:20]: Feeling: "You don't know what I'm dealing with." Hearing from other mothers who might have gone through it may have helped.
[11:20]: What did you do to deal with the anxiety?
1. Got back into therapy for a bit - been in and out of therapy since childhood.
2. Awareness - knowing it was happening.
3. Took a weekend trip with Taylor's mom, Stella, and Taylor - ripped the bandaid off. Learn to get OUT and know that everything was going to be okay to avoid sitting in the house. Trip went well, she cried a little bit on the plane and Taylor learned she's going to be okay, but for the most part people are loving and kind. Eye-opening experience.
[14:15]: Have you had setbacks or the patterns starting to come up again?
Mostly come back when Taylor is not taking care of herself or what she needs as a mom. Establish boundaries.
Going to yoga, taking a warm bath, a walk alone ... all of these are key!
Set yourself up when you know moments are coming (like a husband traveling).
Taylor's mom steps up and helps out by taking Stella once a week.
[17:00]: Pouring into other people beyond Stella and definitely need to take time for self too
[17:40]: Did you feel postpartum depression with anxiety?
When Taylor feels depressed, she stays home and tends not to see people or not interested in doing anything.
Recognizing this pattern was huge.
[19:15]: If you didn't have a hard baby and you are still feeling postpartum depression or anxiety, it is okay, it is valid. We get it! We are here to support you.
[19:50]: Anything else to share?
You are going to get advice from a ton of different directions... it's okay to feel how you are feeling. Don't feel shame. It's okay to feel sad. To feel anxiety. To feel depressed. Don't allow someone else to tell you aren't allowed to be there.
Ask for help.
Don't feel shame because you have "everything you want" and you may not be happy or excited in the moment.
Connect with Taylor on Instagram @mrstayames.